Hi y'all, I'm effing swamped.

But in an attempt to try and be better about posting regularly even when busy, I figure that pictures are better than nothing, right?

So that said, I present to you a picture dump from the last few weeks.



I was pleased with my makeup yesterday. kellidunham commented, "Tara, your shirt is the exact same color as your eyeshadow." And when even Kelli notices your makeup, you know it's good.


Arabic coffee and Knafah, one of the most delicious desserts EVER from Tanoreen!

( Outfits and food porn below the cut! )

Damn. Here's to hoping I have a few moments to catch my breath soon. Hope y'all are well!

Damn, I'm a busy bee these days! So, in the meantime, I give you photos from my big gay weekend.


This is what I want to be when I grow up.


Zoe and I went to Naima's art exhibit. We make a good nun/black cowgirl team!

( Much much more under the cut! )

Hot damn it was a fun weekend!

In conclusion, why can't life be this gay all the time? Oh wait, it totally totally is.

So, I have this THING on my lip. Two things, actually.

They are both these bright red ugly zits that look like cold sores, and I feel pretty gross about them. Of course, since I am dumb, I popped them and made them worse. Why oh why oh why do these have to happen right around two big social events coming up?

I think I mentioned a bit ago that I'm going to be the fatshionista.com representative at Full Figured Fashion Week later this week, where I assume there will be people taking pictures. Also, it's Pride this weekend!

Probably no one notices them from afar, but my lips are in no shape to be kissing anyone at the moment, which is a big pouty face.

Also, just in case any of you were operating under the mistaken assumption that my dating life is all peaches and rainbows, I should let you know that I've had 4 people in a row tell me that they wanted to go on dates with me and then DISAPPEAR. They all had seen my picture and everything, all expressed a desire to go on a date (all of them even threw out some possible days), but then they all disappeared. 4 of them! Within one month! Boo for internet dating.

Ok, and just so I don't end this on a frowny face, I forgot to mention that when I was in Montreal, 2 people recognized me from FemmeCast! Like, they actually came up to me and said, "Hey, you're that girl from FemmeCast, aren't you?" I was kind of stunned and incredibly flattered, and it was a total ego boost.

In other celeb news, I emailed my co-workers about that Good Morning America clip and offered to sign autographs, but strangely, no one took me up on the offer.

In sum: Even Z-list celebrities* get rejected and have zits.


*Is there something below the Z-list? Sub-Z-list? ZZZ-list? Also, I don't actually think that I'm a celebrity, but it's fun to pretend.

Y'all! I have some exciting stuff for sale! ( Summer Sales Post Spectacular Thisaway! )

On my way up to Montreal, I gave craigslist rideshare a try for the first time.

Though I am lucky enough to have not ended up in the car with any axe murderers, and overall had really positive experiences both to and from the city, I had a few gems that needed to be shared.

On the way up, I shared the car with two gentlemen. The driver was a 25 year old band manager who was currently working as a waiter at a Jazz Club and on his way to visit his future wife in Montreal. We'll call him Dwight. The other passenger was a 40-something engineering professor at UPenn who was a leftist Christian. Funnily enough, I never found out his name, so we'll call him Horace.

The ride up to Montreal is about 7 hours long, but because Horace was running late, we ended up leaving an hour late and hitting traffic on the way out of the city. It was pretty apparent from the get go that Horace was one of those know-it-all type dudes who felt pretty secure in the fact that he knew at least a little bit about just about everything.

Dwight talked a little bit about his job, namedropping the fact that he had gone to Cannes with Mike Myers, and had also been the tour manager for some famous bands. "Have you ever heard of Fall Out Boy?" he asked me.

For the first half of the trip, Dwight and Horace amused themselves by talking politics and political conspiracy theories (and I love a good conspiracy theory!). But I mostly amused myself by petting Penny the mini schnauzer, who was sharing the back seat with me.

At some point during the trip, Dwight mentioned that since he transports passengers to and from Montreal on a regular basis, he wanted to write an anthology of all the interesting life stories he's heard from his riders. I told him I thought it could make a good book if he did it right and then mentioned that I wanted to edit a Bad Date anthology since I've been on so many of them. Dwight and Horace's ears perked up. "Tell us about some of them!" they asked.

I then realized, in the company of two seemingly straight-laced hetero dudes, that my best two awful terrible very bad bad date stories were completely inappropriate for polite company. So, I told them about Black On The Inside, which did not involve text messaging during sex or naked fedora dancing.

The guys didn't seem that interested in my story, but they did immediately become interested in the fact that I was queer, something I hadn't mentioned before then. After that story, and throughout much of the rest of the ride, they pretty much only wanted to talk about my queerness or other gay stuff. Dwight informed us that he had been offered money to sleep with a guy once, but just couldn't do it. He had also made out with a guy once but was sad to discover that he couldn't get it up for him. "I wish I was attracted to dudes; I'd get laid so much more often!"

They asked me when I knew I was queer, and I told them that I ID'd as bisexual when I was 14, but didn't have a chance to sleep with women until college, at which point I pretty much lost interest in men. In response to that, Horace said something to the effect of:

"Did you ever think that it's not that you're a lesbian*, but that you're just not interested in men? Maybe you're asexual?"

I about peed my goddamn pants laughing at that one. Asexual? No one in the history of my life has EVER asked me that. So after I stopped laughing, I said, "I'm DEFINITELY not asexual and am absolutely pro-actively attracted to women."

But as funny as that was, I feel like the next gem of a question beats the accusations of asexuality hands down. Later on in the ride, Dwight asked me if he could ask me a personal question. I said yes for god knows what reason.

"So, I hang out with gay men, so I know guys have the whole top and bottom thing, but women don't have that, right?"

OMG OMG OMG, I had to pick my goddamn jaw up off of the floor I was so stunned he would think that! I quickly disabused him of his sad misconception about queer sex and re-realized just how much of a queer-friendly bubble I live in.

And then Penny the mini schnauzer started puking in the seat next to me.

If I had know that craigslist rideshares meant that I'd be able to collect blog and memoir gems like this, I would have done it much much sooner.

*Which I'm not, but for the sake of not having to go into an hour long in depth discussion of my sexuality, I was to them.

I just got a chance to watch the Good Morning America clip about Fat Acceptance featuring onceupon and Gabi of Young, Fat, & Fabulous, and didn't even know that I'm actually in the segment until someone on eljay pointed it out. Awesome!

You can see my fat ass twice both talking to and hugging Marianne towards the end of the clip.

My parents watch that show. I wonder if they realized it was me? I'm guessing I would have gotten a phone call if they had.

Y'all! I have a food emergency!

Tomorrow for a potluck, I'm bringing a "fancy salad." I have ingredients for the actual salad, but I cannot figure out what kind of vinaigrette to make! Here's what will be in the salad:

-arugula
-stilton
-walnuts
-white peaches
-cranberries with orange essence

So...what kind of dressing should I make? I don't want to go crazy with the fancy dressing ingredients since I already spent a lot on the main salad, but something delicious would be nice.

In other food news, sometimes I really <3 NYC. I was on my way to the bank and found a CUPCAKE TRUCK a block from my work! I bought mini red velvets and mini coconuts for consumption later now. (ETA: They are delicious! I hope that truck is there every day so I can get a cupcake fix for $1 anytime I need it!)

I am also considering joining a CSA, but there aren't any really near to me that I know of. It would also mean a big commitment to cooking instead of living like a bachelorette. But with my awesome new lime green kitchen, I'm feeling more inspired to cook instead of order in. Plus, I spend an appalling amount of money on food, so saving on that front would be great.

I've been a busy busy bee the last few weeks, and the fun doesn't stop until July! I have such a love-hate relationship with being this over-scheduled in life, but mostly I appreciate the way that being busy has such a positive effect on my energy level. I'm also one of those people who is like 50x more productive when I have a bunch of things going on.

1. On Friday, I went to onceupon's book release party! It was lovely to meet Marianne, and shake a little ass with her and Miasia, who came up for the weekend.

2. Every time Miasia comes up here, it's so bittersweet! Seeing her is always a reminder of how painful it is not to have her in my life on a daily basis.

3. I brunched on Sunday with theoryofgravity, where we pleased Fat Satan with our hearty appetites for egg dishes and the best doughnuts EVER. Seriously, if Doughnut Plant could have an express delivery service to my bed, I'd be real grateful. Their coconut cream doughnuts are as close to heaven as I'll probably ever get.

4. Fat Girl Shopping Miracle! I stopped by Rainbow post-doughnuts because I cannot get enough of their 4 pairs of underwear for $10 since I discovered that they go up to a (Junior's) 3X. The bitterly ironic thing is that they are the same exact quality as Torrid underwear, but about a fifth of the price. I also discovered that with certain styles, I can actually wear some of their plus bras! Yes, they are bordering on too small in the cup, but this is still a Christmas Miracle because they are 2 for $10. Seriously people, I've been paying goddamn Lane Bryant upwards of $35 for a single bra, so I happily accept lower quality and fit for that price. They also go up to a band size of at least 46, which is kind of awesome, especially for those of you with larger bands and smaller cup sizes. Moral of the story: get thee to a Rainbow Plus if the size is right!

5. I spent about 14 hours prepping, priming, and painting my living room and kitchen yesterday, and they look stunning! My co-worker and her girlfriend were so sweet and came over to help, which definitely got the job done a whole lot faster. In exchange for painting, I made them a fancy meal: marriage quiche (with arugula, shiitake, turkey bacon, and gruyere); an arugula salad with walnuts, cranberries infused with orange essence, and topped with a balsamic honey dressing; blood orange juice (I wanted to make blood orange juice mimosas, but I didn't have time to get the champagne); and my chocolate cupcakes with ginger lime cream cheese frosting for dessert. I love it when people enjoy my food, and the two of them could not stop talking about how awesome it was!

6. Post-painting, other than still being covered in paint splatters, my right arm and hand are so sore and cramped that they shake when I try to hand-write anything. All I'm sayin' is that they better be better by Thursday.

7. Speaking of, I leave for Montreal on Thursday! I know I've announced this like 40 times on this blog, but I am too excited to not say it over and over again.

8. And tomorrow, I go see PJ Harvey! Through an interesting twist of events, I might be able to trade my top balcony seats for orchestra level seats for only $10 more.

Woo! I'm on a roll.

[cross-posted from fatshionista.com!]

When Marie Denee, fashion blogger extraordinaire, approached fatshionista.com about being a part of the upcoming Full Figure Fashion Week, we jumped at the chance!

Co-founded by Marie and Johara Tucker of Luvin’ My Curves, the Curvy Collective is a group of plus size fashion bloggers and plus size magazines who will be attending and/or speaking at Full Figure Fashion Week in New York City in late June. FFFW is hosting a wide range of events such as a welcome event on Thursday, June 25, a panel called "The State of the Curvy Community" on Friday the 26th, a dance party, a small business owners forum, and a Saturday morning shopping soiree! You can find the full schedule here. There's a little something for everyone with a stake in the plus size fashion community.

I myself will be representing fatshionista.com at the Emerging Designers Showcase & Networking Event and the State of the Curvy Community Panel. I'll also be repping my wallet at the Shopping Soiree. Marie has promised us VIP access to these events, which isn't a privilege I believe that I've ever had before, especially at a fashion event. Thrilling! So if you do stop by, please do come say hello. I'll be the starry-eyed lady trying to stop herself from bursting with excitement! If that isn't description enough for y'all, this is what I look like.

For me personally, one of the most exciting features of FFFW is that it's being produced and run by fat women of color. As a fat WOC blogger, I've often felt alienated by the white women-centric fatosphere, so it's great to be reminded in the flesh that fat community doesn't just come in one color or medium.

Stay tuned for more updates and post-event roundups on Full Figure Fashion Week as it happens! And because that weekend is also concurrent with NYC Pride, expect me to be a little extra flamboyant!

Today is Friday, and it is rainy and cold.

Last weekend, I was doing this!





And, here's to hoping that my weekend involves more of ( this! )

On the queue for this weekend:

*A fried chicken dinner
*Work party/cocktail hour
*Brunch at what's supposed to be one of the best Middle Eastern restaurants in NYC
*First Coney Island trip of the season!
*Dinner with Genne
*Gayety
*Maybe even some relaxing!

What about you? What are y'all up to?

I can't even tell y'all just how excited I am that my tattoo is finally D-O-N-E!!!

But first, a journey through the ages.


Here's what it looked like after our first session.

( The rest final pictures under the cut! )

Hey y'all,

I haven't done a sales post in a long long time, but boy do I have a lot of cute stuff to sell!

Whatever doesn't sell today or tomorrow, I'll be putting up on fatshionista. ( Onto the goodies! )

I had both a relaxing and delightful weekend!

I've been cat sitting for Zoe, so I shuttled myself between my apartment and the Bowery all weekend, did some roommate interviews, and had the best doughnut of my LIFE (mmm, coconut cream) at Doughnut Plant yesterday after an equally delicious brunch at Essex with nicolettesara, and went to the really fantastic Butch Voices fundraiser that Kelli organized on Saturday evening.

My role at Butch Voices was to be the "performer liaison," but I renamed myself the "butch fluffer" because it had a much jauntier ring to it. I actually really didn't do all that much except fetch water, get folks to sign up for a performer's email list, and show a couple of people where the doughnuts were in the "green room" (a.k.a. zebra dressing room), but also had a marvelous time socializing and meeting the talented performers.

Oh, and I also played dress up! ( Fatshions below the cut! Warning: tight dresses ahead. )

Guess what I got in the mail today?



And if I had a ton more money to drop, ( this is what's on my wishlist at the moment. )

Ok y'all, so what's on your shopping fantasy wishlist right now?

Hey, guess what?

NOLOSE is offering seed money of up to $1,000 to support projects that expand the reach of fat queer activism. 2007's SPAL projects included an inspired Zine-making party in London, a fabulous Roller Skating party in Philadelphia, and the very successful Fat & Queer mini-conference in New York. We loved supporting those projects because they were creative, fun, informative, and community-based.

Although we are looking for programming to strengthen the fat LGBTQ community at the local level, we will also consider programming that networks with other allied organizations. Want to co-sponsor something with bears? Interested in planning a plus-sized clothing swap with your local LGBTQ or NAAFA chapter? Send us a proposal!

We will prioritize projects that:

• Support NOLOSE's mission:
  
  • Who we are
  • What we're about
• Create visibility for fat queers, fat queer issues, and fat queer activism.
• Explore intersections between all of our different identities in the world.
• Provide information, resources, access, and/or voice to groups that are marginalized within fat activist communities.
• Provide information, resources, access, and/or voice to under-resourced regions with less visible fat activist communities.
• Are challenging, weird, boisterous, empowering, and FUN.

Our hope is that funded projects will be able to return the seed money back to NOLOSE (or even make a profit), but we understand that not all projects will or should be money-earning ventures. Ability to put money back in the pot for other projects will be one factor (of many) in our funding/grantmaking decisions. In general, the larger the funding request, the more important the ability to repay the seed money will be.

Timeline
>> All proposals are due by June 1, 2009.
>> Notifications will go out July 1, 2009. Funding/agreements will go out soon after.

Sound good? We hope you apply! If you have additional questions, or need to submit a proposal through other means/media, feel free to email us at SPAL@nolose.com.

Find out more and access the SPAL application for funding here.

So, the party was wonderful! There were so many friends, lots of dancing, a great speech by stillwell, and some great snacks and drinks.

As per Zoe's request, I got drunk because in our many years of friendship, she has never witnessed me drunk. I also decided that drinking would be a great way to help lessen the anxiety I was having over party logistics, and I was right! I ended up having an excellent stress-free time and was in happy drunk mode all evening.

Unfortunately, that meant that after the first hour or so, I completely forgot to take pictures. Oops!

So, here is a partial pictorial account of the evening.


I spent several hours at Bryn's house getting my hairs done.


Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

So, this is the hair inspiration picture I sent to Bryn:



And holy crap did she do an amazing job! ( Hair, makeup, outfit and my hot friends under the cut! )

Damn, I had so much fun! Throwing big parties are stressful, but I'm really really glad I did it. Thanks so much to everyone who made it mega fun!

Tomorrow, I will post about my fantastic party, but for now, pictures of tattoo session 4 of 5!

We had hoped to get it all done today, but we have about an hour left. We also saved the most painful part for the last. *gulp*



( +4 )

We went to Costco for food and alcohol for the party, and I got a little something for myself.

Ahhh! The big party is tonight! I have 5 million things to do today to get ready!

I rarely throw parties, and the crazy anxiety I get right before them is exactly why. I worry about shit like: Will they be a disaster? Will no one show up? Will all my friends hate each other when stuck in a room together? Will it be boring?

But you know - shit happens! Things comes up and people can't make it. Or maybe it's supposed to rain all day like today. Or maybe the MTA is doing track work and fucking up the trains. Like most people, I've thrown both successful and less successful parties, but I keep telling myself that even if only 5 people show up, it'll still be a great time. Right?

At the very least, I'm excited to debut my ipod DJing skills and I've made an excellent ass shaking mix. And I know for sure that some of my favorite people in the world will be in attendance. And in all likelihood, I will make back all of the seed money that NOLOSE gave me for the party + more.

Ok, momentary panic has ended. Please resume with your day. And if you're in NYC, I would love to see you tonight!

Q: What's the perfect antidote to an upsetting night?
A: Shopping therapy!

A few weeks ago, my roommate moved both of his couches out of our living room, leaving us with no furniture except a coffee table. So, since my parents are coming to visit in two weeks, I've been on a mad dash to try and buy a sofa bed.

I had no idea couches were so damn expensive, and I feel like I've combed every damn website on the interwebs looking for something cute and affordable. I was originally going to get a Danish modern couch (that didn't fold out into a bed) from Urban Outfitters, but today on my lunch break, I walked around my work neighborhood, which happens to have a bunch of furniture stores in it.

And...I'm happy to say that I found the couch that I'm going to buy! And it's cute and even cheaper than what I was going to buy originally! It's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it'll certainly do.

So, to give you an idea of what is going to happen, here's a picture of what my living room used to look like:



Now, imagine it sans the red chairs, white couch, curtains, tables, lamps, and art. The bookshelves and table are still there. ( Furniture porn and decorating plans under the cut! )

Over the years, it's become pretty apparent that my decorating taste is anything that has birds and/or flowers on it. I don't know why, but I can't get enough!

I also need to get some sort of armchair and a different coffee table. Thus far, I am thinking either this (which is super spendy and I'd have to save for) or this. I have a nice sized birthday gift certificate from my family to help with some of the costs, but all of this stuff is really pricey. Ugh!

Oh damn, y'all.

I just came off of a weekend-long work board meeting where I had to get up every morning at 6am, which is kind of unholy for me as a night person.

But! I still managed to have a fun weekend.

1. I actually love my job and our board, so even though the meeting was exhausting, I still got to have fun.

2. On Friday after the meeting, we did karaoke, which was hands down the most fun karaoke experience I've ever had! There was dancing and tambourines involved, if that gives you any clue. I also did a duet with one our interns to a Weezer song (Say It Ain't So) that I used to love as a youngin'. This makes me want to drag all of my other NYC friends to karaoke sometime soon.

3. I had a lovely low key date with Don Draper last night! She came over to my place for the first time and we cuddled and smooched and watched bad tv. It was a nice, relaxing end to an otherwise hectic weekend.

4. With two exceptions, my weekends are completely booked until July. I am not happy about this lack of free time.

5. This is only semi related to the weekend, but do any of you all know a place where I can get an affordable (i.e. $500 or less) couch, preferably one with a pull out bed? I found something kind of good at Urban Outfitters, and I loathe everything at Ikea right now. In terms of style, I'm into modern and mid-century design. For example, this is what I will probably buy if I can't find anything better. But if I didn't have to be practical, I would totally be buying these for a bordello-themed living room:

So, I found this freaking amazing vintage dress at the Fat Girl Flea that was really one of a kind. It was this beautiful Jackie O-esque cream-colored dress with beautiful stitching and navy buttons on the front pockets.

Well, I am an idiot. I have had zero free time lately, so I decided to splurge and pay to get my laundry done. But when I opened up my bag this evening, I found the dress, SHRUNKEN to probably about a size 6. Why did I not realize that they always use hot water?! Why am I an idiot?! Damn. Now I want to try to sell the dress, but besides ebay, is there a skinny girl equivalent of fatshionista? The dress really is a gorgeous find and I am kicking myself.

In happier news, I just came back from a lovely dinner at Kurve, this really chic Thai restaurant that my friend Karen and I discovered after finding that our first pick was closed for repairs.


The lounge area had PINK couches!


That's my friend Karen on the left. Behind her, you can see the super cute bar area and pretty orchid plants.

( Pictures of dinner behind the cut. )

I am happy to report that the food was just about as delicious as the decor!

And in other delicious food news, I had the most amazing cheese (Pierre Robert) when I had my bday dinner at Absinthe last week, so I went to Whole Paycheck and asked them if they had it. They didn't, but the woman told me that they had a delicious triple cream that was kind of similar. So, I tried the Coach Farm Triple Cream goat cheese and OMG HEAVEN. God, that shit was good. And really expensive! The website claims that the cheese "Won Best of Class at the 2008 World Championship Cheese Contest." I'm LOLing and imagining a family of cheeses and the star student cheese displaying the world championship trophy on a mantle.

I felt so guilty about spending too much money on cheese, so I just had cheese and crackers for lunch. It was still damn good, though!

Thursday


Dolores Park with Zoe.


And Anna!


Laying in the park with pinkprincesszoe and failsafeheart!


Date night game face.

( You can have more under the cut! )

To be continued...

Wow, y'all.

I am back on the East Coast after a 4-day nonstop fun trip to San Francisco. I can safely say that I had the best birthday that I've had in years. I felt loved, appreciated, and properly celebrated.

All weekend, I couldn't help but think back to just two years ago. It was my first birthday in New York, I had only been here for 3 months, and I was really depressed. I missed DC, and I remember vividly how disappointed I was in myself and my lack of community when only 3 friends showed up to my birthday dinner. Those memories make me even more grateful for what I have now, what I've worked so hard to build for myself, and what people have given to me between then and now.

More details on the specifics to come plus lots of amazing pictures, but I just wanted to thank everyone who helped make me feel really special this past weekend. There are a ton of you who I will totally give shout outs to when I write up my trip, but I especially want to thank Zoe and Anna for being such awesome friends/travel buddies and celebrating with me every step of the way during our trip. 28 is already very very fabulous, so lets keep it coming!